The Family Speaks

I promised Eris a birthday post as 'penance' because I forgot to write to her on her actual birthday. True, this is about 5 days too late. Tough.

Anywho, I thought I'd write up a list of some of the stuff that people in my family come up with. Enjoy.

1.

"Why on earth do you leave your testicles spread all over the place?" My sister, Kiki, who actually meant to say 'tentacles'.

2.

"I can't do this anymore!! My brain is paining!!!" My cousin, P.B., trying to dodge maths homework.

3.

"This is my cousin Kiki... I love her very much... We are going to get married." P.B. introducing Kiki to Zuzbaab, the village elder, when he was about 7. Kiki refused to speak to him for three days.

4.

"Lei will make such a pretty bride; I just can't wait for the wedding." Aunty Mags-from-Moira when I was about 14.

5.

"Ooooh! Look! This'd be the perfect excuse to kiss pretty girls!" My Uncle C., while checking out some contraption used to check one's eyesight. The guy has a PhD in Genetic Engineering, knows all the computer languages in existence, and is now doing a PhD in History, because he's bored.

6.

"How come I don't get any plicks and bungoots?" Kiki, at the age of 3, after Mum bought me some hairclips and my first pair of gumboots.

7.

"NOOOOOO!!!! Don't take the dead lightbulbs next to the live ones! The live ones will die too!" Cousin P3, during his 'lightbulb phase', at the age of 5. He even tried to take an old tubelight to bed with him (cue the collective 'awwww').

8.

"NAUGHTY DADA!! SHUSHHHHH!! BE QUIET!!!" Yours truly, during my very first midnight Easter mass.

9.

"Hey! There's a fairer one!" Uncle C., while taking a picture of a pink pig, as opposed to a black one.

10.

"Buy her a sausage. She'll forget all about the pig." Uncle C., when cousin P2 took offence at a pig being chased.

Well, there you go, Eris. You can't say I'm being lazy anymore. Not just yet anyway. Read and comment people, read and comment.

Just another rant

I am so sick and tired of having to explain myself to people. Why can’t I just be free to do whatever I want to do? It’s not like I’m even hurting anyone so why the hell do people feel the need to interfere in my personal life?
It’s bloody infuriating! I don’t like to watch hindi movies okay? That’s all there is to it. It’s not because I’m a snob, I’m not and it’s not because I can’t understand hindi because I bloody well can and it sure as hell isn’t because I think I’m too cool for that thank you very much.
It’s not like I’ve never seen a hindi movie before in my life. I used to watch them as a child. Let’s see if I can remember the general story line of a few, hmm? There was the one where this creepy gardener dude was working for the rich businessman with the pretty daughter who thought the gardener dude was crap till something happened and she needed the gardener dude’s help and they fell in love and they lived happily ever after in his hovel and oh yeah, her dad was evil and didn’t really love her.
And then there was the other movie with the creepy undereducated dude who got thrown together with the pretty girl for some inane reason that she deeply resented but couldn’t help because she was rich and a girl and therefore stupid and he did everything he could to make the situation worse and insulted her every chance he got till she realized that he was actually a really good guy because he didn’t kill her or rape her so she realized that she was wrong for being rich and that her father was evil ( because clearly everyone rich is evil) and fell in love with the creepy guy and had his creepy kids.
Oh and that other movie with the rich, modern girl who wore stylish clothes who was publicly insulted by the creepy undereducated dude who worked for her father for being cheap because she wore western clothes and was a shame to her father and her country for not being married, in a kitchen, in a sari and pregnant after which she realized that he was a wonderful guy with great values and fell in love with him.
Oh and the other movie where the pretty girl turns down the yucky dude and then gets raped and is so very lucky because the yucky dude is the only one who wants anything to do with her after that and he bashes up a few guys and they live happily ever after and she’ll never turn down the yucky dude again because she’s lucky that he wants her after all.
Can anyone see a pattern forming here?
Forgive me if I clearly do not want to waste my time and money sitting in a theatre full of creepy dudes watching a film clearly designed to entertain the majority of creepy dudes who lead such hard lives and once in a while need to see a happy, fluffy film about how the rich men turn out to be evil and get killed or end up in jail while they get to screw their daughters.
I don’t try to stop other people from seeing the shitty movies where the girl always, always swoons as soon as some butt ugly actor puts his arms around her so why the hell is it so important to them for me to go see the damn things.
Hell, it’s not even about me seeing English movies. I can’t remember the last time I went to a theatre, it has to be more than a year ago. I have better things to do with my life without idiots getting in my face about how I’m not patriotic enough. I don’t need to wear a salwar kameze or grow my hair long or speak hindi you bloody shmucks so get the fuck off my back!
My mother is Punjabi and my father is goan and my mother doesn’t speak Konkani and my father doesn’t speak Punjabi. Did it occur to anyone that it’s just easier for us all to communicate in English? Nevermind that I can understand Punjabi and hindi and have a bloody good idea of what people are saying in Konkani and marathi. All people know is that I’m a shame for preferring to speak in English.
Ugh. When are people going to get that I don’t need to act Indian…. I am Indian.

A Post About A Post

Well... seeing as how I don't have enough... inspiration... for a separate post, this will just have to make do. I've got a new post up on my own blog. It's titled 'Wanted: A Life'.

Please read and comment on it. And Eris, please don't sulk. I'll write you a separate post another time.

Farewell.