Bad Dog! No Biscuit!

This country is going to the dogs… or it would be if the dogs would have us. I’m sorry, was that not patriotic? Do I look like I give a rat’s ass?
Unless you happen to be the very slowest of the slow, you’ve probably guessed by now that I am not a happy camper. You may even go so far as to say that I’m a bit pissed off.
And right you are! I’m very pissed off! Why, you ask?

Got a coupla hours?

Let’s see….. oh yeah! There’s the big controversy about the lady you touched a holy idol while she happened to be menstruating and now the entire state is up in arms about how the temple has been defiled and how they just can’t go on anymore.
WTF?

Hmmmm… that can’t be it. I know that’s what you’re saying. That can’t be all I’m upset about.
Right again! Gosh, you’re on a roll.

Now the bloody Moral Police in Madhya Pradesh want to stop schoolgirls from wearing uniforms with skirts as they’re too provocative. I tend to get rather violent about this topic. Why? Gosh, I don’t know. Might have something to do with the fact that instead of punishing rapists, these fuckwits are coming up with ways to excuse them. Might have something to do with the fact that in the last couple of years I can’t count the number of times some university or the other has tried to stop girls from wearing jeans in college. Maybe it’s the fact that my mother flaunts off more in her sari then I do in my jeans. May even be the fact that it’s women who are coming up with these rules ( women waaaay past their prime and not in the best shape… which may have something to do with it).
So before I break something… I’m just going to raise an eyebrow and move on.

Ah! You being the clever reader you are, you know there’s more coming up.

Some two bit actress wannabe makes a fool of herself at some two bit singer wannabe’s party and does everything but throw herself at the birthday boy but is guilty of nothing but embarrassing herself and everyone else who had to witness it. The birthday boy is guilty of nothing but being extremely homely and trying to search for her tonsils with his tongue without asking for her permission first. Could we have decided that they’d embarrassed themselves enough and just forget about it? Well, we could have, but where would be the fun in that? Could she have just slapped him and kicked him in the nuts before storming out? Don’t be silly! Not when there’s so many cameras around and she’s desperate for press coverage.
So she makes the scariest face I’ve ever seen on anything other than banshees in really bad horror movies and proceeds to act as if he’d destroyed her virtue, murdered her entire family and keyed her car all in one go and there’s nothing else on the news for two weeks. Two bloody weeks!!!
Deep breaths. Cue the eyebrow. Let’s move on.


There’s plenty here to rant about. But you know what? I just can’t do it. It’s just too mind numbingly ridiculous but at the same time so very dangerous that you can’t even believe it’s happening. In this day and age?


That’s it people. You saw it here first. Sarcasmo has been defeated.

I have nothing to say.

I'll just leave you with some of the wonderful wonderful work the government's been up to.

Brilliant police force.

Focussing on the important things.

Breaking up dangerous criminal liasons.

Fuck, I'm not even going to try to come up with something sarcastic for this.

Brand new attack force.

Louis Armstrong was right... what a wonderful world.